first day jitters. i’m terribly afraid.
hot pilates to tire myself out, took a pill, went to bed….. still awake.
its strange when you consider the intersections of time and space…. and its divergences. the anxiety of a bride before her wedding is simultaneous with another person’s peaceful day’s end. the cosmic and mundane are one and the same.
like the comet of 1812:
“And there in the middle, high above Prechistensky Boulevard, amidst a scattering of stars on every side but catching the eye through its closeness to the earth, its pure white light and the long uplift of its tail, shone the comet, the huge, brilliant comet of 1812, that popular harbinger of untold horrors and the end of the world. But this bright comet with its long, shiny tail held no fears for Pierre. Quite the reverse: Pierre’s eyes glittered with tears of rapture as he gazed up at this radiant star, which must have traced its parabola through infinite space at speeds unimaginable and now suddenly seemed to have picked its spot in the black sky and impaled itself like an arrow piercing the earth, and stuck there, with its strong upthrusting tail and its brilliant display of whiteness amidst the infinity of scintillating stars. This heavenly body seemed perfectly attuned to Pierre’s newly melted heart, as it gathered reassurance and blossomed into new life.”
Tolstoy, War and Peace.
let’s go practicum.